Red Fox ClipartEvening, Friends – well, I had a lovely walk today and managed to find a nice pile of fox poo in Far Field.  Oh, I rolled and rolled – rubbing it hard into the area under my ears and all over my collar.  It was fabulous!  And the amusing thing was that I waited until She was miles ahead nearly at the telegraph pole, so by the time the penny dropped that I was rolling in poo,  it was far too late.  I  giggled at the hysterical running and shouting that went on. I can’t help it if we’re always on a tightbldyschedule – one of these days I might actually go for a long,  unhurried walk without time constrictions.  Anyway.  I was put on the lead and marched smartly back through Far Field and along the river.  Some Very Nicely Dressed ladies stopped to talk to me – I’ve no idea what they were doing down there, as they didn’t have a dog and were wearing pastels, – so I went all wriggly and lovable, but it was spoilt by the sharp, “he’s just rolled in fox poo.”  This wasn’t strictly necessary.  Lad has been told he needs to bath me this afternoon, but I’m not convinced he’ll get round to it.

So, Readers, I did warn you there would be no blog yesterday.  Indeed, it was bldytiring being in London all day with Lad and Young Lad, but you will be impressed to know they made it onto the 7am train.  This is no mean feat on a Saturday morning.  I was woken by the hairdryer, as I had feared, but used the opportunity for a comfort break in the garden, then went back to sleep.  Lad and Young Lad did very well, helping out with Doctor’s exams.  Although when Young Lad was asked if there were any other people close to him with medical conditions, I’m not sure they were looking for the answer, “oh yeah, the bloke up the road had a heart attack.”  Never mind.  Lad was of such interest to the Doctors that he was asked to stay behind for ages afterwards, so that a few more could stare at him and shine lights in his eye. They would have had to muzzle me if they’d tried such a thing.  Lad was very patient.  They both seemed underwhelmed with their Love2shop £10 e-voucher but money wasn’t the point of the day.

In the meantime, He and I had an absolutely brilliant day.  It was so peaceful, Readers!  We had a good lie-in, then later in the morning went for a lovely walk.  I was extremely well-behaved all day.  He sprang into action, taking down the Christmas lights at long last – thank goodness He read the blog the other night!  These lights are now on the dining room table, where they will stay for a few weeks.  He also did the washing, and we both needed a sit down in front of the football, after our busy morning.  When She, Lad and Young Lad returned from London, everyone was too tired to cook properly yet again, so it was Harry Ramsdens and oven chips, with green vegetables of course; their health is not completely neglected.  I can’t tell you how peaceful it was, just He and I all day.  Nobody to nag us or shout at us.

Then, all change this morning.  Admittedly everyone had a bit of a lie in, after the early start yesterday, and then She “popped into town.”  Homeless Guy was back outside Sainsburys – worryingly, his spot had been taken recently by a couple of other people, who were rolled up in sleeping bags sound asleep.  With a pot out for money. This seems unfair on Homeless Guy, who has been in that spot for a long time and become something of a regular fixture.  Plus  he smiles and says hello, and tells you his medical problems, (see earlier blog) and is very polite.  So it was a relief to see him back there today, and She bought him a raspberry bun to go with his Dreggs coffee, to celebrate.  Then, oh Readers, then my Sunday morning deteriorated.  Recently it has been Deemed Helpful to look after LovelyNeighbourOnTheRight’s cockapoo puppy on a Sunday morning while they are out.  (This didn’t happen last week as She was too selfish and went to ParkyCenters.) But today we were back in this new routine.  I don’t like it.  Cockapooo now comes round to our house, and bounces all over the ruddy place.  Round the rooms and particularly, round me.  It wants me to play, and I’ve made it clear on many occasions, that I don’t do this.  Well, this morning the flipping thing just would not take NO for an answer.  It jumped at  me, over me, beside me, on me.  It was like being attacked by a black mop.  The final straw came when I got into my bed, thoroughly disgruntled, and IT GOT INTO MY BED WITH ME!!!   I know!  That’s MY BED!!  I was not having that.  Absolutely no way – who the hell did he think he was?  So I growled and barked and did a minor snapping thing, until it got out.  How dare it get in my bed?!!  Pardon?  Did you say something, Reader?  “Isn’t that what you do at Ebony and Pippa’s houses and it really pisses them off?”  Completely different.  No comparison at all. I’m a guest there, and they should celebrate my companionship, not moan that I’m in their bed.  I’m not sure what “hypocritical” means, so it’s no good saying it to me. I was livid.  Eventually LovelyNeighbourOnTheRight’s cockapoo was taken back home.

This afternoon Lad has worked hard on his Art.  He has used some photos he found on her phone – one of the Bastard Swans at the river, and one of the “oh so gorgeous, just look at him!” muntjac from ParkyCenters last week.  Lad is doing some drawing focusing on texture.  The fox poo would have been far more interesting than the Bastard Swan or Bambi.  Young Lad hoovered the ground floor but said the hoover was too heavy to carry upstairs.  He also dusted the windowsills, but mostly this involved sitting on his bedroom windowsill playing with Airfix planes.  Not the ones he got for Christmas, they’re still in the boxes, but some old ones that Lad put together years ago.  After doing the hoovering he said he was worn out and went for a sit down.  In the meantime, He cut the grass and sawed up the Christmas Tree, taking it to the tip.  Thank goodness he read the blog the other day #2. 

She has had a long drive this evening, as Nana aged 86 is having a hip operation tomorrow morning, so is in hospital.  As usual, the hospital car park proved challenging for her, as did finding her way back to the main road afterwards.  I’m afraid the Best of the Seventies Cd was on in the car, so you know what to expect.  (By the way, today’s walk was in time to Take That’s “These Days” – how very middle-aged. )  So we have been left home alone for the night, but hopefully Pack Leader will be back tomorrow night.  I do hope Nana aged 86 gets on ok with her operation, even though she can’t stand the sight of me.

Oh my word look at the time!  McMafia has started!

Bye for now,


Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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