I was a bit naffed off this morning, Readers, so I tore a nice strip of cheap laminate off the food cupboard door. What had upset me? Well, as they left the house in the usual stressy shouty way at 7.40am, I was thrown HALF a carrot to keep me occupied. HALF. This is pretty poor. Yesterday morning I at least had my Kong with some left over cold fish pie stuffed in it. Consistency of glue, but the smoked haddock still tasted nice. But today? Half a manky carrot. I showed my disappointment while She had “popped into town” after the school drop, by tearing some more laminate off and chucking one of her work shoes on the floor. I was shouted at, of course, and the usual silly, “WHO did this/Did YOU do this?” routine went on for a while. Tiresome.
It was a glorious morning at the river, though – absolutely beautiful. Made me glad to be alive. I really wanted a slow, leisurely stroll for a couple of hours – after yesterday’s double walk with Ebony (see further down blog) I was quite content with gentle trotting speed today. But oh no, it was the usual hard-paced stomping through thick mud. Today it was to the tune of Elvis Costello, “Pump It Up.” An improvement on the Benny Hill theme, but still rather dated. Every so often a shrill, ” For God’s Sake Hurry UP!!” pierced the otherwise tranquil setting, and it got on my nerves, frankly. We’d seen Ebony on the way down there, so of course there was the usual discussion of which of us was the worst behaved, blah blah blah….Ebony and I were bored by this. Dear, dear Teddy was down there again, really rather frisky today, but I didn’t want to chase around playing. Can’t see the point. Luckily a young cockapoo came along and jumped all over Teddy. It was all a bit infantile for me.
Let’s go back a day, Readers. No blog last night, as I had warned you. This was ostensibly because Young Lad was at cricket so it was too bldybusy, but it turned out to be because She had to bring A Lot Of Work home with her, and didn’t have time for the blog as well. He went to collect Young Lad from cricket due to this Heavy Workload. I tried to help by sitting very firmly next to her on the sofa, but I had an itchy paw and evidently it’s verybldyannoying when you’re trying to work and something keeps scratching and jiggling around next to you. I was sent to my chair in the end. I’d had a LOVELY day, friends, with dear Ebony. We had not one, but TWO smashing walks! Because Ebony’s Pack Leader is kind and caring. The first walk was uneventful, but the second one was a little problematic. Ebony ran off across the fields and wouldn’t come back. This was unacceptable behaviour. Then I picked up a wonderful scent – I suspect it was muntjac – so I couldn’t help taking off at full speed with my nose on the ground. I had problems with my ears and couldn’t hear Ebony’s Pack Leader calling me. Ebony and I then both refused to come back to her Pack Leader, which was Rather Fraught. However, I eventually gave up on hunting the muntjac as I heard the desperate scream, “sausage”, and decided that was a better bet. All’s well that ends well. When we got home, we had to be hosed down, and then made to sit in the kennel outside to dry off.
In this diagram, I am lying comfortably on a soft towel in the kennel, while Ebony sits outside looking sad. I think Ebony likes it when I go to her house for daycare.
I know! Two pictures in one blog!! A first!
There has been a fair amount of culinary effort here this week, to make amends for being away at the weekend, which meant Lad and Young Lad ate pizza and fish and chips. Monday’s fish pie took bldyages to make and stunk the house out, but was at least nutritious. Tuesday’s spag bol was served with lots of green vegetables. Last night was a bit of a shocker – fish fingers and chips, as sobldybusy – but tonight we were back to form with homemade soup, jacket potatoes and so on. The kitchen is filthy again. I had hoped, as She wasn’t working today, that maybe the Christmas lights that are still sellotaped up round the window, might get taken down and put away. But no. Neither has anyone noticed the lone artificial poinsettia that is still rammed into a picture frame in the lounge. The NordicNonDrop Christmas Tree is slung out on the back patio, still waiting for someone to saw it into pieces and take it to the tip. I cock my leg on it most mornings. But on the bright side, LovelyDor down the road has finally received her Thank You letter. Before February.
There was a meeting at Lad’s school today, to discuss ways in which to help him with his Many Medical Issues and, I would think, how to get him out of bed a bit quicker. Rocket and backside come to mind. Anyway, as Lad’s school is not a million miles from a branch of John Lewis, a decision was made to kill two birds with one stone, and sit in it’s hallowed halls for half an hour with a coffee and scone – thanks to the twice-yearly voucher for a free coffee and cake. Never knowingly over-generous. There was some loving hand sweeping over 220 thread count Egyptian cotton duvet covers, and a browse round the sale rail at the Mint Velvet concession. As usual, the shop was exited without a Single Bldy Purchase due to the bldyprice. Keep dreaming.
It seems my anal glands are a little on the strong side tonight, and I’m being moaned at a lot. He is the only person in this house who still loves me when my anal glands are playing up – I’m not sure he notices. Even Gingercat keeps his distance. It could be a result of the fish pie, as my glands smell like an oilier version of it. Meghan Markle’s beagle undoubtedly has problems with his anal glands, too, but I would think he gets more sympathy. Anyway, if Meghan made a fish pie I doubt it would be with smoked haddock from Lidl. Is there a Lidl in Kensington High Street? Now there’s a thought. Meghan would love me unconditionally.
Young Lad has a wobbly tooth that is very painful – he’s making a right ruddy fuss about it, if you ask me. I’ve just emitted something that might take his mind off his wobbly tooth for while.
Readers, I’m a little dismayed about the International Viewing Figures for my blog. What’s happened to Latvia? Spain? Even China? (Though I felt a little uncomfortable about that one.) I’m down to a paltry one in America – had got upto 6!!- and the usual loyal crew in Australia. Come on, everyone, share the love.
They’re all out at work/school tomorrow. I’m planning a biggie.
See you soon,