60 minutes

IMG_08761 Readers, what can you do in one hour?  Sixty minutes?  Here’s what I managed in that amount of time this morning.

1. Ate a large bulky broccoli stem from the back porch.

2.Pulled my new box of food from out of the cupboard under the stairs (still not tidied out and worse than ever), dragged it into the lounge, ripped through the box, ripped through the packet and ate loads of it.

3. Needed some dessert after that, so went up to Lad’s bedroom, found his Christmas stocking, chewed holes in it and found two chocolate coins at the bottom.  Ate them.

That’s not bad going for sixty minutes, is it?  If you did a time & motion study on me, I’d score quite well for efficiency.  Of course, this isn’t appreciated by my family and I was shouted at for the mess I’d made, and the extra meals I’d eaten.  I only had the house to myself for that one hour, while She did the school run, so I made the most of it.  She screeched the usual stupid, “WHO did this?” when She saw the mess, so I stayed where I was on Young Lad’s bed, and wagged my tail at the thought of what a nice time I’d had.  It was a funny old day after that.  She stayed home all day, which was nice once I’d been forgiven and we cuddled up under the fleece. As She was feeling crap  Under The Weather, there was less of the normal charging around with hoovers and cleaning implements.  I had a snooze while She attempted to watch another episode of the Scandi Nordi Noir crime thriller thing, but She fell asleep, and by the time She awoke, some of the characters had turned into plants.  No, I have no idea why either.

I did look out the window at one point and the elderly lady with the walking frame was at the bus stop. BUT, Readers, she also had a sinister looking umbrella as it was pouring, so I had to bark a bit extra at her to make sure she didn’t attack my house.   I also barked at the postman when he came to deliver the missing purse – yes,we can all breathe again, and those Tesco clubcard points can now stack up once more.   Despite feeling crap Under The Weather, we did have a walk as fresh air can be invigorating. Not many friends down there today – saw Lexie and her stick in the distance – because we missed the popular 10.30am walking slot. While we were out, Storm Eleanor decided to pop back, so the walk was cut short and a return to the fleece on the sofa was in order.  The problem with being out in high winds for beagles, is that our ears blow out like the flaps on a plane and we look ridiculous.  

Lad came home at lunchtime after doing another Mock exam.  This dreary state of affairs stretches on for another TWO weeks, yet.  He claimed he didn’t feel well enough for revision so he might go on the Xbox instead, but was told there was no logic in this argument whatsoever.  Readers, I actually saw her put the Xbox controller in the oven, so he couldn’t find it.  Lad dutifully worked all afternoon on Maths, which is Not His Favourite Subject, and there was some tension.  Simplifying quadratic algebraic fractions seems to require a lot of Bad Language. And Youtube, to find out how to bldy do it.

Young Lad had a good day at school, largely because there was some ‘beef’ at lunchtime.  This isn’t the sort of beef I like, but involves schoolboys fighting. According to Young Lad, this happens every day. He loves watching. Today’s beef was particularly good as there was some juicy swearing as well.  I wonder whether Young Lad has missed the point of secondary education. 

Another update for my regular readers.  The hoover bag has been carefully cut open, and the grim insides pulled apart.  Success!  The small airfix pilot has been found, as has a sock and several drawing pins.  Sadly, Readers, Young Lad’s tooth was not easy to find.  Instead, there was a dried up sweetcorn kernel, so She lied and said that was his tooth, and gave him a quid.  

Well, I have made it clear to them today that the cupboard under the stairs is STILL shocking, and they really should have put away the Christmas stockings by now.  But will I be thanked for my help?  Oh no.

They’re all at work and school tomorrow, Readers, and I have a good feeling about it.  I’ll keep you posted.

Bye for now,

Russell

 

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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