Happy New Year, friends!! Sorry there was no blog for the last couple of nights, but I did warn you, and I’ve been busy. I’ve had a lovely couple of days away visiting Family. First of all, four people plus me plus their bags plus large bags of food were crammed into an ordinary car, and set off for a 100 mile journey. What fun. There was no arguing or fighting whatsoever in the run up to leaving home. It was seamless. Ha ha. Lad insisted on bringing his own duvet and pillow, which added to the uncomfortable squash in the car, but meant that he had a nice sleep. Young Lad had been told over and over again not to go on his phone in the car, but ignored advice and then threw up two seconds from our destination. Luckily he got it into the washing detergent plastic tub kept in the car for this purpose. I was shocked, Readers, that She simply emptied this out into the gutter in the road, saying “therainwillwashitaway.” What an awful attitude. 100 miles with 4 people, a dog and a ridiculous amount of stuff in the car is no excuse for that sort of bad mood. Lad and Young Lad were dumped with Nana while He and She took me in the lovely park nearby for a walk and a coffee. This was nice – it’s a massive park on the edge of a farm, and has wondrous smells. They didn’t let me off through the cow fields this time, though, as I usually find a good, fresh cowpat to roll in. Instead, She insisted on walking up through the woods as it would be “less muddy” – Yeah, right. It was shocking. But I loved it. Most of the time we were walking, they were wittering on about the Price of the Coffee in the Lovely Manor House that we often go to. It seems that £6.30 for 2 bldysmalllukewarm coffees is rather a lot, and they are takingthebldypiss.
Then we had lunch at Nana’s house. Nana doesn’t like me. I’m not sure why. She says I smell, and frighten her cat. Generally I just sleep quietly on her sofa, though I will admit my anal glands often play up when we visit her. I tried my hardest to ingratiate myself with her, by laying my head on her knee and going to sleep, but she still doesn’t like me. It was Fish and Chips from down the road for tea, which was excellent – the smell was divine and I did a lot of whining and stamping my feet. (She shared a portion of a portion with Young Lad again, of course. Three mouthfuls, in fact.) There was nothing on telly, so they played board games all evening. This is quite impressive, bearing in mind Nana is 86 years old.
New Year’s Eve was excellent – we all had a lovely lie in. In fact, She woke up screaming, “for the love of God it’s quartertoten!” as there were People Coming For Lunch. Thankfully He took me out for a nice walk, so we could both get away from the general stress of Lunch Preparation. He and I like going for walks at times like this. Anyway, her brother Funnygit, his wife and The Cousins arrived and it was all very jolly. There were drinks and nibbles BUT, and I know this will come as a shock to my regular readers – NO TEMPURA PRAWNS!! I know! Asda just didn’t have any so they had to make do with mini hash browns and red pepper & feta parcels. I missed the Tempura prawns, to be honest.
Lunch was a veritable feast, but I was still trying to impress Nana and slept soundly on the sofa in the other room, rather than scrounging at the table. Eventually I gave up trying to impress her, and scrounged at the table which was more fun. There were meat platters, fish platters, cheese platters, salads and jacket potatoes. It would be hard to tell you what my favourite is, out of all this, as I don’t actually taste anything as it flies down my throat. The Chocolate Baileys cheesecake went down a treat again – I know for a fact Funnygit’s wife and one of the cousins had two helpings. The pecan pie was not a crowd-pleaser, Readers, and will not be repeated. The Cousins kept calling it Pigeon Pie and sniggering. I would quite like Pigeon pie, I think. Or pecan pie, come to that. They had a lot of fun after lunch, crammed into a small room playing board games, and they all screamed with laughter when She moved back on her plastic garden chair, and it broke – violently throwing her to the ground. Funnygit showed some compassion for once in his life, and helped her up, whilst everyone else laughed. Apart from Nana, who was concerned about her broken chair. I was asleep on the sofa during all this.
The highlight of my New Year’s Eve came when they were Clearing Up the Kitchen. He has done about three hundred bowls of washing up over the weekend, due to the lack of a working dishwasher, and Funnygit was carefully wrapping up the left-over cheeses in clingfilm. Well, not that carefully as it turned out. I pretended I wasn’t looking, but my reflexes were SUPERB as he dropped a large piece of Cambozola onto the kitchen floor. I had it down in three gulps. Now, Readers, try to imagine the effect of Blue Brie on my flatulence…and they had 100 miles to drive back with me in the car…. God, it was GORGEOUS! Have you tried Cambozola? So creamy, with that slight bite of the blue veins. What a treat. Try some! You may like to eat a small piece, rather than a large wedge of it, like I did.
Well it’s nice to be home again, and back to normal. He and Young Lad have been busy today taking down all the decorations and putting them back in the roof for next year. She had a minor nervous breakdown this morning when She “popped into town” and discovered that She has left her purse 100 miles away at Nana’s house. You may be worried, Readers, that She had no money, credit cards, bank cards with her, but it’s ok! She had 234 points on her Costalotta app on the phone, which meant She could sob into a small Americano. But Homeless Guy had to go without today, and She explained why. He didn’t look convinced. She took me for a long, fast power walk to de-stress from finding She has left her purse 100 miles away, and it was lovely down there. The river has Burst Its Banks (see previous blog re tedious conversation on the bridge about how high the river was), and some of the path is flooded. I got rather wet. We went up through Top Field, but I couldn’t find anything decomposing today. Saw a few friends; Barney the Nice Beagle was there, and we both ran off to the regular places that have food smells. I also saw someone who looked like Teddy the Australian Labradoodle, but it turned out to be Colin the Cockapoo. I came home very muddy and had to dry off in my bed.
Well, Readers, tomorrow will be interesting. They are Back To Work and School. I will be home alone, although Lad is here for “Study Week.” There has been a conversation about this, as it it not “Stay In bed till Lunch” week. Now, whether I can get up to anything naughty before Lad stirs himself out of bed tomorrow, I don’t know. I will do my best and let you know.
A very, very happy New Year to you, and I’ll keep on blogging all the time anyone can be arsed to read it.
See you soon,