Royalty

IMG-20171229-WA0001 (1) You see, Friends, if Meghan Markle adopted me to live with her other beagle, this is what my life would be like.  Instead of being dumped with the neighbours and told you smell every five minutes.  I feel I’m in the wrong life.

It was LASHING down with rain early this morning, so I went out for my early piddle and then raced back to bed. I decided to stay there for a good couple more hours.  The heating is still working – I know! – so it was very pleasant. Young Lad had been promised the cinema today with his friends, which he was excited about. It was just a shame that She hadn’t checked how long Star Wars went on for, as She mis-timed the ending by about three hours and had to sit in a crowded car park for an entire afternoon.  This was Annoying as there were many other things that needed doing.  He gave me a lovely long walk once the sun came out this afternoon,  right through Far Field, and because it had been Lashing Down earlier, it was extremely muddy.  I was plastered.  Due to this, and the fact that we’re visiting Nana tomorrow, Lad had to give me yet another bath.  I am now white and clean, but it’s still the cheap shampoo.  They haven’t learned.  Despite having lovely clean fur, I’m giving off some shocking smells tonight which will please Nana when we get there.  She isn’t keen on me as it is.

There was some mild swearing in the kitchen a while ago, as there is a Big Family Lunch with her brother Funnygit and The Cousins this weekend.  She has made another Chocolate Baileys cheesecake, as this was a crowd-pleaser the other day, and also decided on a Pecan Pie.  She couldn’t be bothered to make pastry though, which is good as her pastry is cack, so a ready- made Pastry Case was needed.  Nowhere in town had one, so a trip to SparksmeanMarks was required.  Hurrah!  They had one left, costing £35 (well, not quite but you get my point.)  Back home, the Pecan Pie filling was made and poured into the ready-made all-butter pastry case – only this was broken into eight pieces, so the filling oozed all over the place and some of the pastry was floating on the top of it.  Feckity Feckity Feckity, She said, and had to make her own pastry after all.  It was cack.

I have been barking in the garden a lot lately.  They seem very puzzled, and keep saying, “why does he keep barking?”  The only way they can stop me barking is by shouting, “Russell, what’s this?!” and I come running in for a small piece of turkey or gammon.  And yet they cannot work out why I keep going out in the garden, barking…….

My regular Readers will remember my young friend J, who has been having some Nasty Treatment in the Marsden. (That’s why my blog started in the first place.)  Well, J was meant to be in there again, starting  his last round of Nasty Treatment, but instead he has been in a local hospital with Bad Flu.   She was thinking of going to visit, but it’s the same hospital car park that was problematic the other week, and She’ll be stuck going round level 6A again for twenty minutes.  Might be best to give it a miss.  Hope you’re better soon, J.

Young Lad was tied to a chair yesterday and made to write Thank You letters until his ears bled.  In fact, he only did three.  Lad has been excused this torture as He Is Revising, as we all bldy know.  He was asked to clear up his bldypigsty of a bedroom today, and insists he has, but it doesn’t look any different from before. Or smell any different.  “Clear up” is a rather vague instruction, if you ask me, and I think Lad needed better direction.

I have to thank my dear friend Ebony’s family, for the photo at the top of this blog tonight.  They are very Clever and Technologically Advanced, unlike my own family.  I love this photo, and will cherish it.  One day, I’ll be there in real life with Meghan and Harry.

Some great random viewers yesterday, by the way!  India is back!  Wow, long time no see.  I may well have to take a rest from blogging for a night or two, as I’m going to be very busy with Funnygit (he calls me Rothmans – I’m a beagle, work it out), and lots of lively Cousins.  So apologies if I’m just too tired, and don’t see you till later in the weekend.

Bye for now,

Russell

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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