Oh Come, all ye faithful

20171225_205332 Happy Boxing Day, everyone!  Settle down with a nice Christmas drink, because I have LOTS to tell you!  Has it really only been two days since my last blog?  I’ve fitted such a lot into this time.  I’ll start with the diagram – this is me trying to exit right,  having knocked the VERY full kitchen bin over on Christmas night.  I find it disgusting that nobody found two minutes to empty a large, overflowing bin somewhere during the day.  They were asking for trouble, but more of this later.

Well, Readers, against all expectations She managed to drag everyone to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve.  I wouldn’t say there was a lot of enthusiasm, and I did hear them moaning about the number of verses in Hark the Herald Angels Sing when they finally returned in the small hours, but at least they went.  I want to make it clear that I behaved extremely well while they were at church.  This had nothing to do with all the doors being shut and the bins being put out, but more with my respect for their rare church-going activity.  Eventually everyone went to bed and I slept in Lad’s room with him and Young Lad, for a bit of a laugh.

Christmas Day was ace, absolutely ACE!  Gingercat yowled to come in at 5.30am, which didn’t please her, and then I needed a pee at 6.30. Lad and Young Lad opened their stockings in bed, and there was plenty of chocolate going on in there.  I’ve got my eye on where they put it. Then there was Breakfast and Present Opening under the tree.  New readers will not remember the notebook I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, where She assiduously (anally) writes down the list of Christmas and Birthday presents every year from birth.  Needless to say, this notebook was used efficiently again, but there was a small cry of anguish when it was realised there is only one page left.  Never mind, a trip down memory lane was had as they read out the entries from 2007 (Power Rangers crap) and 2010 (Scalextric.)  Actually, the Scalextric went straight back to Argos as it didn’tblywork.  I was becoming a little bored by this, so they eventually put on their silly voices and waved a present at me, trying to force it into my face. “Open it!” they kept cajoling, so I ignored them.  They got the idea and opened it for me.  Inside was a rubber bone (boring) and a pack of low-fat treats from PetsRVetsRToysRUs or whatever it’s called.  These were nice.  But, friends, unbelievably they had the STUPID idea of stuffing one of the low-fat treats into the blue rubber bone.  I have tried and tried, but can’t get the bldy thing out.  Stupid. Gingercat was given a ball with a bell in it.  That won’t be irritating, will it?  Then it was Christmas Morning Walk with He and She time.   Met lots of friends down the river,  but the best part was bumping into Molly’s Mum on the way back.  It turns out that Molly (a staffie) is sometimes as “badly behaved” as me.  Last week She pulled her Pack Leader over, completely over, while they were at a cafe on a pier.  Molly was alarmed by the sound of scraping tables and chairs, and tried to escape, pulling her Pack Leader with her.  Unfortunately her Pack Leader’s fish and chips and cup of coffee also escaped, all over the pier.  But it’s nice to hear of someone else being told off for a change.  When we returned home, things improved even more as there was More Present Opening on the agenda,along with Christmas Morning Nibbles.  Yum.  These include smoked salmon on Ritz crackers (cheaper than blinis), hot mini sausage rolls,  mozzarella bites, and of course, tempura prawns.  Again.  These seem to be rather a feature this year. Then She faffed around in the kitchen making more brandy butter (see Christmas Eve blog) and blending the bread sauce (also see Christmas Eve blog.)  While the dishwasher was being loaded, I climbed in and grabbed the bowl that the brandy butter had been in, and ran off with it.  Sensing pursuit, I ran under the table in the lounge and growled.  Unfortunately the coffee cafetiere had been on the top shelf of the dishwasher, and had dripped all over my head and face.  I reeked of coffee and have brown streaks everywhere.  But the brandy butter was glorious.

Once they had all Dressed Up a Bit (although Lad had his flipfloppy slider things on, how common) they were ready to go off to AD’s house for the rest of the day.  Reader, this is where my day improved considerably.  I went down to Ebony’s house and just couldn’t wait to get inside, with people that genuinely want to be with me.  Ebony was very pleased to see me, and we bounced around very energetically for a while.  Then went to sleep.  I had a LOVELY, LOVELY day with these wonderful people, who have the right priorities in life.  It was simply heavenly.  Then Ebony’s Pack Leader walked me home in the evvening, and I only had 45 minutes with the house to myself before the others got home.  I didn’t waste this time.  Nobody had remembered to put the kitchen bin out, in their rush to leave home without me.  Friends, just stop for a moment and think what your own kitchen bin has looked like over the last day or two.  And you probably empty yours.  Well, I chucked it all over the kitchen floor, and dragged some upstairs to the landing.  There was SO much stuff everywhere! And SO much to eat!  Glorious!  Of course, I was scolded as soon as they came in which is why I tried to escape, see diagram.

I slept like a log last night – what with Christmas Day at Ebony’s plus emptying the bin.  Today has been rather nice – two walks! She took me this morning, as She neededsomeblyexercise and then A Family Walk was insisted on, this afternoon.   This morning I saw Barney the “oh look he’s so lovely and calm” beagle, and he was extremely white and clean.  I wasn’t.  My friend Pippa was down there and we’d been romping for ages, with her jumping all over my back.  So Barney was clean and beautiful and I was covered in mud and stuff.  Anyway, I was pleased to hear that Barney also misbehaves by being Difficult when it is recycling day and houses have bags of nice-smelling recycling outside them.  He also runs off towards the houses in an attempt to go through their bins.  See?  It isn’t just me.

Then another walk this afternoon. This was fun – we bumped into someone called LovelyBird and her three gigantic Italian Spinonis.  They are HUGE, Readers.  I was a little unsure around them.  She stood chatting to LovelyBird and LovelyBird’s Friend for ages, so I had to man up a bit and pretend I wasn’t scared of the mahoosive Spinonis. 

Readers, I nearly laughed myself silly today.  One of them was given a Shark Jigsaw for Christmas.  He and Young Lad spent most of the morning trying to do it.  Then She helped.  Then Lad had to help.  It’s now nearly 9pm and they still haven’t managed it!!  Four people!  And it’s only 250 pieces!  Oh it does make me chuckle, they’re a bit thick.  There has been the annual game of Monopoly, and Gingercat and I both walked over the board at various points, knocking everything over.  It’s a laugh.  Gingercat has also knocked loads of things off the tree today.

After Monopoly, it was Family Film time.  This involved snuggling under the new fleece on the sofa, and enjoying a film together as a family.  They watched Psycho.

There are no words.

Hope you have all had a Happy and Peaceful Christmas, at least for part of it, as I feel those two things might be  rather a stretch for two whole days.  Fill your glass up for Boxing Night.

See you soon,

Russell

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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