Cap’n Birds Eye


Hello friends, didn’t get up to much yesterday while they were all at work, apart from tearing up a fish fingers box and leaving it in the study. Yet again, they had failed to put the recycling outside the back door.  There were quite a few breadcrumbs left in the bottom of the box, so I was pleased.  After that I went to Ebony’s and was As Good As Gold.

Well, incredibly the Christmas cards haven’t fallen down in the hall yet!  This is a first.  There has been the odd drawing pin, however, that has been discovered when stepped on.  The Christmas season continues, as they have People Coming to Lunch tomorrow, which for some reason requires a half-dead twig from the garden to be dragged in and put in the hall, to look more ‘welcoming’.  She then spent, and I measured the time closely, 45 minutes trying to untangle yet another set of lights.  This was begun in Good Spirits with a cup of tea and a mini mince pie, but ended up Not in Good Spirits as She had failed to untangle them and ended up throwing them on the twig in a tangled mess.  I’m not convinced how welcoming this looks.  

A Large Food Shop was needed to be done this morning, which meant “popping into town.”  Homeless Guy was in his usual spot, and thankfully someone had given him a blanket as it is still cold.  And some fags.  He’d already got a coffee (someone more generous than her had bought him one from Costalotta)  so he had to make do with a chat and a couple of coins today.  Then there was a Major Guilt Problem, because round the corner was a Big Issue seller, and She now had no coins left to give them.  Tricky.  This will play on her mind for a while.

This afternoon I had a great walk, with He, She and Young Lad.  Lad had stayed behind as he was still in his night attire, and was supposed to be Doing The Cleaning.  Well, readers, you’ll like this.  Found a super, new patch of fox poo and had a good roll – I had stayed well back from them, so by the time they looked back and saw me it was far too late and I was plastered.  It smelled divine.   The funny thing was that Lad had just cleaned the bathroom and scrubbed the bath, so wasn’t thrilled when She texted him to say I was covered in fox poo and needed a bath.  In fact, he made me go in the spare shower instead, which was a new experience.  I didn’t like it.

There has been a lot of Cooking going on today as there are People for Lunch tomorrow.  This is good news for me, as I will have a lot of attention and pretty AD is coming, so I will probably get my lipstick out.  It smells nice in the kitchen, and a new recipe has been tried – some sort of chocolate cheesecake with Baileys or something – and I’ve heard her complimenting herself on how nice it is.  The kitchen is a bombsite, mind you.  There will be various bits to lick off the front of the washing machine later.  There was a minor panic as She started making shortbread and couldn’t find her recipe.  Thankfully LovelyDor down the road has the same recipe, and doesn’t lose things.  She read it out over the phone and calm was restored. 

He has been home today so Young Lad and Lad have joined him watching football and rugby on the telly.  It’s very peaceful.  It was quiet here last evening, too, as Lad was in the study on the Xbox all evening, so Young Lad, He and I cuddled up for the evening watching telly. She, if you remember, was out at her Work Christmas Do.  Readers, this didn’t go well.  Blithely, She had offered to drive and pick people up.  Blithely they had accepted.  They won’t be doing that again.  One hour and ten minutes to collect three people, and find the venue, which was about 8 miles away.  Shockingly bad.  She really had no idea whatsoever, and tried to blame Satnav.  In fact, Satnav was thrown on the floor at one point.  And as if that wasn’t bad enough, rumour has it She couldn’t find her way out of the car park at the end of the evening.  So there is some tiredness and bad-temper today.

I have a new neighbour.  One one side there is a Bouncy Young Labrador, and now the other side have been to collect a Very Young Cockapoo.  They are going round to see it in a minute, and I expect I will  be introduced at some stage.  I am the old geezer in this part of the street, but this means I have lots of experience and things to teach them.  So long as they know their place.

Lad is doing English revision at the moment, and asking questions like “what’s a word for the opposite of elevating love?”  Then he needed to think of a word to describe the ugliness of an onion.  I fail to see how any of this is going to equip him for anything in life.  I thought the Physics was dull!

Yes, as I suspected, they’re all eager to go and see the new puppy.  No consideration to how hurtful that is to me.  I’m hoping they’ll forget to put the bin out – I’ll let you know.

Bye for now,


Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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