Germany’s back!

images0XBCXY6SHurrah!  My viewer from Germany has come back!  (It might be a different one, I realise.)  Excellent, please tell your friends!  I love it when someone from abroad has read my blog, though I do wonder what they were Googling to find it.  America – come on, in a country of 323 million, 1 viewer is a bit sad.  Couldn’t you mention to someone and double it?

Well, a different sort of day today.  She and Lad left very early this morning for school/work as He was having a day off.  His first mistake was to forget about putting the kitchen bin out when He took Young Lad to school.  This is a classic schoolboy error.  They had barely left the drive when I had that bin over, lid off it and emptied it across the kitchen floor.  Readers, it was fantastic.  Not only was the bin completely full (slovenly people) but there were even a few edible bits in there.  Some burnt lasagne scrapings, sweetcorn, and yogurt lids.  Plus plenty of things that aren’t technically edible, such as cat food foil wrappings, soggy kitchen towel and egg shells.  Yum.  My stomach is somewhat on the chunky side tonight, which shows how much I found.  I LOVE days like this.  Later on I had a good walk at the river and didn’t get as muddy as yesterday so didn’t need a bath.

She seems rather harassed tonight.  Finally had an xray on her ankle from the 4 year old injury, on the way home from work, then got stuck in bldytraffic for ages. Told me off for barking a lot in the garden, (it was dark, and I Sensed Something Untoward over the Back Fence), and pushed me out of the way when I stood up at the kitchen counter to see what She was cooking.  Then, and this really made me chuckle, She tried to put up the Christmas Cards.  Oh friends, it was priceless.  First of all She dragged a chair into the hall to stand on; the hall has a wooden floor.  No sooner had She put one foot on it, than the chair skidded across the floor.  Once safely up on the chair and not moving across the hall at speed, She tried ramming drawing pins into the crease where the wall meets the ceiling.  Too funny;  the drawing pins had a life of their own and just pinged back out and onto the floor.   This meant She had to get down off the chair, look for the bldythings before someone trod on them, stand back on the chair, slide across the hall, and start again. Eventually, some ribbon appeared to be Secured and sighing with relief, She started hanging the cards on.  You’ve guessed it!  Like that game Buckaroo, it was a delicate game of which card will be the heaviest and cause the whole thing to fall down?  Brilliant!  I sat on the stairs watching all this, and shook my head in disbelief from time to time.  The language I could hear was dreadful, Reader, and not at all Festive.  I should not have to hear such things.

I think we all know that when they come downstairs in the morning, all the soddingChristmascards will be lying on the hall floor.  It happens every year.

I’m a tadge concerned that a visit to the Evil Vet is imminent.  One of my eyes is a bit sticky and She keeps Coming At Me with wet kitchen towel to clean it.  I heard some muttering about ohgreat  justwhatIneed   eyeinfection  vetbilljustbeforeChristmas  and other things like that.  Well, I can tell you now, they’ll have to muzzle me.  Any Vet comes near my eyes/ears/anal glands, I’ll have them.  I tell you something that annoys me – Gingercat has a constantly mucky eye.  He’s had it looked at a few times, but they no longer bother.  I would be happy if they didn’t bother having my eye looked at, but oh no.  As I write, Gingercat is pulling baubles off the Christmas tree and throwing them on the floor.  His particular favourite is a red felt robin.  He probably thinks it’s a real bird; he’s quite thick, is Gingercat.  Readers, if I was pulling stuff off the tree and kicking it round the floor, what would happen?  Yes indeed, I’d be shouted at.  But no, Gingercat is “funny” and “sweet” and “let’s take a picture.”  Teacher’s pet.

Once the bldyChristmas cards had been put up, She sat down with the phone for a quick chat with  Nana.  I chose this moment to notice a tennis ball, pounce on it and take it to her for a game!  I don’t often have these playful moments, and feel they should be celebrated rather than being frowned at.  It’s a great game – I let her get close enough to touch the tennis ball in my mouth with her fingers, then growl and run away at the last minute.  This is repeated thirty-seven times, and is great fun.

At the moment, He and Young Lad are watching something called River Monsters.  It’s ridiculous.  Same old bit of river and a sedated crocodile filmed over and over again, with atmospheric music and dramatic, pseudo-sombre voice overs.  “Beneath the floating papyrus, there is NO sunlight……”   ” I need to stay alert…”  “Then, Something Big Comes Looming out of the Shadows….”    Dear God.  How can they watch this nonsense?  It’s worse than Blue “he’s in his 90s you know!” Planet on Sunday nights.

Readers, I can’t promise there’ll be a blog tomorrow night.  She is at work ALL day and then, unbelievably, out for her work Christmas Do tomorrow night.   Selfish. Just can’t see there’ll be the time for quality writing.  You may have to wait until Saturday.  I will let you know then, how quickly the cards fell down in the hall.  And whether anyone trod on a drawing pin.

Tell your friends,

Bye for now,

Russell

 

 

 

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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