White stuff

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Brrr, afternoon friends, well what a day.  Loads of snow here, much to everyone’s surprise as this part of the world hasn’t had any for several years.  I really didn’t want to go out in the garden this morning to answer the call of nature – She shoved me out the back door, so I ran under the bushes all the way down to the bottom of the garden.  It was cold and wet and I don’t like it.  I then had an unfortunate problem as, having eaten a lot of long grass lately, what was meant to be popping out of my rear end quickly and efficiently, didn’t.  I don’t know how I can put this delicately, but like I said, it’s to do with the very long grass.  I couldn’t get rid of the damn thing, however hard I tried.  Young Lad and She were watching out the kitchen window shouting, “PUSH!” as though I was giving birth, and falling about laughing.  Reader, it was chucking down with heavy snow and I was freezing.  You’ve no idea how frustrating it was to have a Difficult Toilet Moment right then.  I had no option in the end, but to scoot my backside along the thick snow to help move things along.  Just imagine what that felt like.  I can’t see why they found it so funny.

Back indoors I had to have a sleep to recover from this. Despite the heavy snow, She ‘popped into town’ even though it was very tricky getting the car up the road.  Sadly, there had been a power cut in town, so the place She was heading for was unable to open for business.  Despite the weather, Homeless Guy was outside Sainsburys,  poor chap.  I would imagine people will be more generous towards him today.  She couldn’t get him a coffee due to the power cut (yes, Greggs affected too) so just had a chat.  I’m sure he appreciated that.

Anyway, reader, at some point it was decided that a Family Walk in the Deep Snow was called for.  I made it clear what I thought about this, but nobody cared.  Even Lad made it out of bed before 11.30am to join in the Fun.  So I was made to walk for 2 miles through thick snow while they all threw lumps of it at each other, taking care to pack them into really hard snowballs.  It appears this is Funny.  They threw a few for me, and I did chase them, hoping there was something to eat inside the snowball.  I soon tired of this game and began to hold my paws up pitifully to show them I wanted to go home.  There were many families down there today All Having A Good Time.  Or so it seemed.  None of my friends were there – doubtless they were lucky enough to be curled up asleep indoors.  He was wearing his West Ham bobble hat and there were other people with West Ham bobble hats, so they all stopped to talk to each other.  I just wanted to go home.  On the bright side, though, I had found a pile of Weekend Vomit in the snow as we started off our walk – I managed to snatch some carrot chunks before She got me on the lead, and I remembered EXACTLY where it was for the way back.  Unfortunately She got me on the lead again.  I’d had my eye on the sweetcorn.

She made fish pie for lunch today – some romantic notion about what a warming, healthy meal that was for a snowy day.  Normally this goes down like a lead balloon, but the walk had made everyone hungry (especially me) and they actually ate the stuff. The bonus for me was that there was salmon and cod skin sitting in Gingercat’s bowl – I whined and grizzled for ages until someone gave in and let me have it.  I will smell nice tonight. 

He and Lad are going up the pub soon to watch a football match.  They are discussing whether to walk (He wants to ) or take the car (Lad wants to.)  It is quite icy and the roads aren’t great so common sense says they should walk.  I imagine Lad will come up with a strong argument for taking the car as he “can’t be arsed” to walk.  Lad and Young Lad are both hoping their schools are shut tomorrow, due to a bit of snow on the ground.  She is praying that their schools are open.  I’m not sure why.  The Swedish Nordic non-drop Christmas tree is still at a worrying angle, and they still haven’t hung the chocolate decorations up. Gingercat was told off last night for knocking baubles off the tree, and chasing them around the lounge.  Gingercat is the equivalent of 80 in human years, and rather immature if you ask me.

I’m going to have a good nap in a bit – She is already muttering about emptyingthe bldyairingcupboard and ironing the bldyschooluniforms  not to mention tidyingupthebldyhouseyetagain.   I will keep my head down in my chair.  Although it is now nearly dark, there are still people walking up the road in their thick coats and wellington boots – what possesses people to go out for unnecessary walks in thick freezing slush?  Which part of this is enjoyable?  Beggars belief.  Talking of which, it’s Blue Planet again tonight so there’s be the weekly oohing and ahhing over some dull fish or jumping squid, and lots of “he’s in his 90s you know!”  Boring as.

Keep warm, readers, and tell your friends.

Bye for now,

Russell

 

 

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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