untitledOh readers, another good day yesterday!  Very, very satisfying on the food front.  It was Wednesday, so I went to Pippa’s house for daycare.  On arrival, I noticed that she hadn’t quite finished her breakfast, so I tidied up her bowl for her.  Had a great walk, and was THAT close to catching a pheasant, but it just slipped past.  It made the same Loser sign at me, that the squirrel did the other day.  Rolled in some fox poo, but it was fairly dry, so easy to brush off.  THEN readers, comes the clever part.  Pippa’s Pack Leader took me home in the afternoon and gave me my dinner, but Young Lad failed to notice her written note saying I’d been fed, and gave me another dinner when he got in!!  Then I whined and grizzled in the hope that he’d give me the Cat Bowl to lick out as well.  He did.  So, to recap – my own breakfast, Pippa’s leftovers, nearly-a-pheasant, and two dinners.  Plus the remains of some Whiskas.  Excellent!  I did let off some cracking smells in the evening, though.

AND, just remembered, emptied the recycling round the garden again and found a Harry Ramsden’s box that had some nice batter crumbs in it!  Lush.

Look, I’m sorry there was no blog last night.  He, She and Lad had to go to a “Sixth Form Options Evening” at Lad’s school.  These options seemed to consist of, “That One’s Too Hard, That One’s Too Boring, That One Involves Too Much Reading, and That One’s for Geeks.”  They all seemed rather Tense when they got in, and She was banging around in the kitchen cupboards looking for her friend Gordon, but apparently he’s disappeared.  ( I know for a fact She drank a couple of mouthfuls of Pinot Blush straight from the bottle in the fridge, despite the no drinking till Friday rule.)  So Sixth Form Options Evening wasn’t the best couple of hours, I gather.  Young Lad and I were dumped with people yet again.  LovelyDor down the road had to collect Young Lad from school and feed him.  I was just Home Alone.  With Gingercat, who was asleep as ever.

But look, I am truly astonished by the nice things people are saying about my blog!  Yet again this morning, “the highlight of my day” has been voiced (you know who you are), and, get this – someone has called me “quite the wordsmith!!”   Really!  Who would have thought that the details of my dreary life would be interesting.  Should it be?  Maybe you need to think on that.

Well, my walk was a little late this morning as She had to ‘pop into town’ (if you’ve only just joined the blog, you need to go back to the start.  Come on, make the effort.  You can’t have much else to do.)  She had to sort out Lad’s medication and is going to have an Xray on her ankle.  I remember her falling out of a bungalow on holiday in Suffolk, a good three years ago, and we all stood around laughing as it was hilarious.  But it seems that her trying-to-be-brave and not-lose-face in front of her brother, nieces and nephews wasn’t such a good plan, as three years on the ankle is still swollen.  And clicks a lot.  I did question at the time whether it was wise to walk round to the park and play cricket after such a nasty fall, but She was trying to be a Good Sport.  Anyway, the swollen clicking ankle doesn’t seem to slow her down on the speedy march back up the hill when her pelvic floor is about to give way, each time we’ve been for a walk.  I think this is psychological, in the same way that the Library and Indoor Shopping Centres bring on the need for a toilet visit for her.  I must say, today’s walk was extra fast-paced, to burn off the Marks and Spencer Mini Mince Pie that She’d eaten before we left. (95 calories.)

Bastard Swan’s Offspring were on the river today – 3 of the blighters.  No sign of their parents, thankfully, but the Offpsring are turning whiter by the day, and one of them Gave Me The Eye.  Hate them.

Quiet time on Tuesday night involved Lad revising Quadratic Equations, and Young Lad revising the reasons that the Normans won the Battle of Hastings.  There was a debate about how the tactics of standing at the BOTTOM of the hill could possibly have been clever, until Young Lad explained that the army at the top only had swords whilst the army at the bottom had long-range missiles called arrows.  This was all pretty dull and I slept through it.  The loading- of- the -dishwasher  was particularly good that evening, as She had made lasagne so the plates were filthy.  It seems to go everywhere.  I helped tidy up.

I’m having some broken nights at the moment, as I feel the need to go out in the garden at 3am to eat some grass.  Could be that my stomach is still struggling a bit after the intestines episode.  It would be nice to have some sympathy, instead of being  moaned at for waking people up at such a Godawful time to go in the garden.  I generally like to stay out there quite a while munching the long grass, and it’s a good job the neighbours aren’t looking out the windows, as they would see her in a various states of night attire trying to drag me in.  It’s a lovely time of the day – very peaceful out there – and I can’t see what the problem is.

Well, I’ve just noticed the Stupid Starlings knocking some bread off the bird table, so I’ll pop out and hoover up the lawn.    No bad behaviour to report in the last couple of days, other than emptying the bedroom bin over the floor, and the usual potato- peelings -round- the -back -porch scenario.  I expect Meghan Markle’s beagle does these things, too, and doesn’t get shouted at half as much.

Back again.  The bread was mouldy but I don’t mind.  I’m going to let you in on something – at times I cannot believe their stupidity in this house.  You know they’ve put the Advent Calendars up high? Thinking I won’t get the chocolate?  Well.  They’ve only hung them up under a light fitting, and above the radiator!  I know!  She only found out her mistake today when raiding the home-filled advent Father Christmas for some chocolate.  And discovered that the Lindt round balls aren’t so round any more!  They need sucking out of their wrappers now, no way can you peel them off.  Dear God.  So now the Advent Calendars have to be moved, and I’m hoping it’s a bit lower down.  (Incidentally, She also broke open the packet of Cadburys Tree decorations in secret the other night, citing “stress”.)

There was an elderly lady with a ZIMMER frame standing at the bus stop outside our window today.  She seemed to be there a suspiciously long time, so I felt I had to protect the household and bark like mad at her.  I think she might have been casing the joint.  This is a bad time of year for barking, as there are so many Amazon deliveries.

Anyway.  Time for another dinner.  Tell your friends about my blog, it might cheer some of them up.

See you soon,




Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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