It’s true, apparently! Chuck’s Pack Leader really does read out my blog over the tannoy at Sainsburys on the night shift. His colleagues are enjoying this, because it gives them a brief break from the soddingChristmassongs that are played 24 hours a day. Well I never. I’m quite chuffed about this.
Pretty good walk today – Mr Squibb was down there, and I haven’t seen him for months. We’ve always had a soft spot for each other, though not quite as much so as Chuck and I. Excited, I bounded over to Mr Squibb ready for a romp, but he was On The Lead as he had been Running Off. His Pack Leader was cross with him. (Here’s a sad fact, friends. Mr Squibb and I used to be dragged out for a very short walk in the dark over the Rec every Saturday teatime justbeforeStrictlyComeDancing. These were pathetically short walks so they could dash back for the theme tune.) Saw Chuck’s Pack Leader in the Top Field, but – no sign of Chuck! He was missing, and I was frantic with worry. He eventually turned up, but it was far too late for me to get anywhere near his rear end today. Then I met a black lab called Holly, whose Pack Leader has also heard about my blog. She and he were discussing breeds, and She said that Labradors are far more intelligent than beagles. How rude. I’d like to see a Labrador that could negotiate the ironing board, hoover, tool box and 3000 carrier bags in the cupboard under the stairs like I did yesterday. (see previous blog.) So I deliberately had a good kick of the leaves after I’d been to the toilet, which had the added effect of distributing all the things She was trying to pick up in the little black plastic bag. It took a long time to find it all and serves her right.
I suppose I was lucky to get a walk this morning, though. She had intended popping over to John Lewis. She says, and I quote, that when you’re in John Lewis, all is good with the world. Everything smells nice, is tidy and calm. There are no builders, Gasmen, kids with medical conditions, Heavy Workloads, idiot dogs or any other stress. Sitting with a cheese scone and a coffee makes everything right in her life. She can look out at the tidy, well organised, good quality products and feel her mental health improve. Please note the word LOOK. It doesn’t say BUY. She did once push the boat out in the Bobbi Brown section, but that was a while ago while She Was Having A Crisis and she’s back to Rimmel at Tesco now.
The only time all wasn’t calm for her at John Lewis was when She tried to park in the underground car park, forgetting She had the roof box on. The drivers on the ramp behind her had to all reverse back up, to let her out. I don’t think all was right with the world on that occasion, but I suppose it doesn’t count as She wasn’t actually through the glass doors into the inner sanctum.
Anyway, She decided not to go today because She’s going to work in a bit, and it would have been a rush. That went in my favour as the walk was a good long one. He is having a Day Off today, which is unusual, so I imagine this afternoon we will watch The Ashes and Have A Sleep. He and I will enjoy this.
Lad is off school again today with a terribleheadache; let me just check, ooh, yes, double Games this afternoon…… The deal was that if he didn’t go in, he has to do revision/work at home all day and She has taken his phone away. To people of Lad’s age this is akin to removing their kidneys, so the headache must be genuine. It is now 5.15pm and Lad still hasn’t asked for his phone back, and this is now quite concerning.
Slight pause there as vegetable curry is being cooked, and there seemed to be a problem getting the lid off the Curry Paste. I don’t think I would have had a problem, but anyway She has been tutting and trying to find a rubber glove and elastic band – a trick learned doing House Orderly badge in the Brownies in the 1970s. (This badge also required the task of hand washing Nicola Francis from round the corner’s grey/white socks, which took a lot of scrubbing.)
Well, regular readers will remember my friend J who was in the Marsden, having some unpleasant treatment, almost up there with having your anal glands drained. In fact, J is the reason this blog started in the first place. I suspect he doesn’t even read it any more but hey ho. J is back in hospital having some more unpleasant treatment. I feel for him, because yesterday afternoon he was having a lovely sleep when he was Rudely Awoken by some Minor Celebrities from the local football team. They were all smiling and posing for photos. This must have been awful for J but probably made the Minor Celebrities feel they are Doing Their Bit for the community. When Lad was in hospital once, he was visited by Minor Celebrities from CBBC. She was quite upset about this, because they’d missed Johnny Depp by a week.
Well, the curry is turning to mush so I think today’s blog must come to an end. Can I just say, to the Doubting Thomases who think some of the things I do have been MADE UP (and you know who you are) – they haven’t. Not a single thing mentioned on my blog is fabricated. Worrying, isn’t it.
Tell your friends,
See you soon,