Oily Fish


All I heard last night was eugh/Russellyoustink/whatisthatgodawfulsmell/GETOFFTHESOFA etc etc etc.  They know exactly what the godawful smell is – it’s my anal glands.  There is no need for all the drama every time they flare up, and certainly no need to frantically light scented candles.  Yes, it is a unique smell, like a tin of sardines that has been left out in the sun for a couple of months, but don’t go on about it!  Plus I was shouted at early this morning (5.15am to be precise) for scooting my bottom along the floor – hello, if you buy a cream coloured carpet you are stupid – as scooting is the only way to relieve the discomfort of over-full anal glands.  So I went out in the garden for half an hour to have a good clear-out, as I thought this would help.  But no, more moaning at me to hurry up and  come back in as it wasn’t even 6obloodyclock yet.  I cannot win.  She has even threatened me today with the Evil Vet if I don’t unblock my glands by myself.  Reader, I’m trying.

Apart from that, yesterday was BRILLIANT as I went to daycare at Pippa’s house, and spent the day with people that actually give a damn about me.  To top off a day playing and sleeping with my bestie, we went for a walk and I flushed out a pheasant from the bushes!!  Yes!  Li’l ol me!  I didn’t catch it, and it did stick two fingers up as it flew off, but still!  Great day all round.

Today’s walk was pretty good, too.  (3.25 miles according to her app.  288 calories).  Usual crew were down there, plus my dear friend Chuck, whom I haven’t seen for ages.  Chuck and I are very fond of each other, and often go off into the bushes together.  Chuck’s Pack Leader says it’s all very Brokeback Mountain and they laugh, but I’ve no idea what he means.  Chuck is very handsome.  I rolled in some stuff in the top field, and ate something that was decomposing – only a mouthful before She arrived, panting and shouting, on the scene.  Nicedogwalkerlady and her husband stopped for a chat, and were soon discusssing whether my anal glands smell better or worse than a dead badger.  I wonder about people, at times.

Well, friends, you’ll be glad to know that Lad’s Revision Workshop was a great success.  He has been talking animatedly about it, something like “it was the best two  hours of his life, and thank you so much for making me go to it.” I think that was the gist, anyway.  She has been mumbling to herself upstairs this morning as there were 4 used towels on Lad’s bedroom floor – research shows that people of Lad’s age have some sort of disability and can’t bend down to pick up anything they’ve chucked on the floor.  This is of benefit to me, as it involves food wrappers and used tissues.  She often discusses this disability with her Friends who also have offspring of Lad’s age,. and they share many happy moments, celebrating the Utter Joy involved in Parenting this Age Group.  Young Lad will be there before long.  He was in trouble last night for playing rugby in the lounge, and the ball (only a soft squidgy one), hit Gingercat on the head.  Gingercat didn’t like this and ran off.  He was soon back when they shook his biscuit box.  There is something called The Ashes on at the moment, which He seems very excited about.  She doesn’t.

She has a Whole Day Off today, which is rare.  These occasions usually involve a lot of hoovering and laundry, and sometimes a Scandinavian drama Noir from about 10 years ago that She’s trying to catch up with.  People have been asking me if I’m going to add to my blog every day – well, clearly that’s ridiculous.  I only started this to amuse my young friend J while he was in hospital, but he’s back home for a bit now and I just can’t maintain the high standard every night.  Plus shedoeshaveotherblodythingstodo.  So we will see.  I’ve had some lovely feedback from you – several people have used the words “highlight of their day”, which is nice but to be frank,  don’t you think  that’s a bit worrying?

Anyway, if you enjoy my little tales of daily life, tell your friends.

See you soon.


Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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