Sad face and retching


Evening all.  This is the sad face I put on every morning when they all go out.  I sit on the bottom stair and look clinically depressed as they leave.  (Seconds after they’ve gone, I’m going through the cupboards.)   Today’s sad face was, as you can see, particularly good.  It made no difference.  They still all went to work and school.

Last night was a bit of a corker.  I was in the middle of a lovely sleep (somewhere that She’s too  Ashamed to admit to)  when I felt a bit queasy.  I struggled on until 2.30 am, when I could hold it down no longer, and woke her with the most dramatic retching you can imagine.  It started as a low note, deep down in my stomach and built to a crescendo of GLP GLP GLP  BLEUGHHH.  You’ll be pleased to know I had the self-discipline to avoid the John Lewis not quite so white duvet, and made it down to the wooden floor in the hall.  I was proud of this.

All she had to clear up when she got downstairs was a hard piece of the Guilt Bone that she’d given me yesterday,  which hadn’t broken down very well.  I had cleared up everything else for her .  It was quite nice.  She wasn’t very sympathetic, it being 2.30 am, and chucked me in the garden for a while.

Anyway. Dull old day, saved only by Lovelyneighbourontheright who let me out mid morning, and Pippa’s Pack Leader who walked me again.  To be honest, if you haven’t got time to have a dog, don’t get one.  It’s not a difficult concept.

There was a conversation over dinner tonight (smokeroni cheese, don’t ask, but it was more successful than the risotto) that made me uncomfortable.  They were discussing what to do on Christmas Day, and apparently we are going to AD’s house for lunch.  Well.  THEY are, but AD has a huge monstrosity of a cat, let’s call him Nasty Git, who won’t allow me in the house.  So I have to be dumped elsewhere.  Anyway, Young Lad said he wanted me to go to AD’s house with them, as I always get my lipstick out when I see AD.  Much sniggering followed this.  I can’t help it – AD is a very pretty lady and it’s a perfectly normal reaction for a healthy male to find his lipstick has popped out in the presence of beauty.  I don’t see why they have to laugh.  And I’m NOT happy about being dumped elsewhere while they eat Christmas Dinner.

I managed to find a bin today that She hadn’t hidden away – downstairs loo.  She often forgets that one. Spent a while throwing the bits of paper and tumble drier fluff around, and was pleased to find a muffin wrapper at the bottom.  All She’d left me with this morning was my Kong, with a bit of chicken squashed down one end and mashed up with out-of-date hummus.

Quiet time last night involved more tedious revising and testing – this time something called Greenhouse Gases and and Global warming.  Was a bit annoyed when methane gas was mentioned, as apparently this is the result of animal emissions, and so there was lots of juvenile laughing that I produce enough methane to melt ice caps by myself.  They need to focus on what they’re doing, if you ask me.

So, tomorrow I will actually have  a decent walk as She is not at work, though is already muttering about gotsomuchtododon’tknowwheretostart.  There is a lot of “negotiating” going on here at the moment as Lad wants to go to something called a House Party next weekend, a long way away.  There is some doubt as to whether this is a Good Idea, and the discussion becomes a little Heated.  I feel this will rumble on for some time.  She is going  to the cinema with her good friend Loadsakids tomorrow night, as apparently it’s something called Children In Need tomorrow, and Loadsakids reckons it should be Mothers In Need instead.  There was a lot of guffawing at this, so they will go out and probably have Something to Drink.  They have been known to compare notes about their kids and dogs on these occasions.  Not kindly, I feel.

Lovely to hear from my counterpart in Australia – still a bit sad about the viewer from Spain who gave up after one night.  Don’t forget to tell your friends if you’re enjoying my blog – the more the merrier.

Bye for now,


Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

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