Poor standards

Evening all, sorry this is late.  Wednesdays are rubbish because they’ve all left home by 7.45 am and nobody gets in til 5.30. Very wrapped up in themselves on a Wednesday.

Anyway.  This could be an interesting post as apparently you can blog and cook asparagus risotto at the same time.  She thinks.  I think we all know this isn’t going to end well. My prediction is burnt onion,  dried out rice and overcooked asparagus. It will go down as well as the Jamie Oliver steamed pudding;  if She’d stuck to fish fingers and chips like most working parents they would all be much happier.  She never learns.

What happened to my 2 Indian viewers? And random Spanish friend?  Come back!  Well done Australia, though,  for hanging on in there. Great staying power, the Aussies.

Hello to J in the Marsden again, hope you enjoyed Jolly Johnny and his guitar today.  We did warn you about enthusiastic music therapy entertainers. When Lad was in hospital the nurses used to tell them to piss off on his behalf.

Well, not much going on today.  At least She left me with a bone this morning (guilt issues). That kept me quiet for 4 minutes.  After that I had another look in the cupboard under the stairs; it is disgusting.  I cannot believe any of you have a cupboard that looks like it.  Ironing board,  hoover, tool box (rarely used) torches that don’t work,  batteries that don’t work, Christmas scented tea lights from 4 years ago, tins of paint (dried up), 3 irons, a yoga mat (wtf? ) , weedkiller (ooh that’s a safe place to keep poison) and 3 million carrier bags. There was also a quality  street tub with various screws,  nails,  hot water bottle cap, curtain hooks and key tags;  for something to do, I chucked this on the floor so it went everywhere.  Frankly it might encourage them to CLEAROUTTHATPIGSTYOFACUPBOARD.

After that,  Ebony’s pack leader from 3 doors down came to let me out for a wee.  I didn’t want to go and made it clear that I was comfortable in my chair. She forced the issue.

Then a bit later,  Pippa’s pack leader took me out for a walk.  It’s nice that someone cares about me on a Wednesday, as clearly my family don’t.

Tonight’s excitement will be trying to get into the dishwasher when they load it with the barely touched asparagus risotto plates.  I don’t care if it’s a bit dried up. Last night He shouted at me when I stood on the dishwasher door trying to lick the plates.  He rarely shouts at me,  and so I usually behave much better for him.

Now then,  2 of you clever things have found a way to ‘follow ‘ me so that you get a message every time I update.  This will reduce the immense disappointment caused by hopefully looking for my next page,  only to find She’s been “Too bloody busy”. She, of course,  doesn’t have a Scooby how you all go about it.  So she asked her close friend Chelseagirl , who says you click on the link and there’s an option to receive messages when I update.  Good luck with that. Chelseagirl may be talking crap,  of course.

Well the risotto looks awful.  One word, stodge.

But She’s in quite a good mood because “The Apprentice ” is on tonight.  She and Lad watch this together, shouting rude,  highly critical things and laughing. She also texts Colleague to do the same thing over the phone, and Her Mother. So you see,  She can multi task when necessary and could have done a much better job with the risotto.

I shall sign off now as apparently Lad and Young Lad are “STARVING” (this seems to be a permanent state and I know how they feel. )

Bye for now,

Russell

 

 

 

Author: boredbeagle

Slightly stocky beagle who lives with a family. This is She, He, Lad and Young Lad. And Gingercat. Generally doesn't get enough attention and so writes this blog to let everyone know what his life is like. You need to start from page one (First Attempt).. Go on, it's worth the effort.

2 thoughts on “Poor standards”

  1. This is your Australian cousin-by-default, Majic. Yes I know the spelling is stupid but They combined their initials and came up with it. They reckon They own me, but I own myself. I am a ridgeback/something and very scary. I love barking at strangers and if they come in my house, I have my own special greeting – I bite their bottoms!! Clever or what? So far, I have managed to catch two visitors’ pants and a couple of skirts, but I am still learning. If, after my special greeting they still come into my house, I hide under one of the Oldies’ desks and wait to catch them on their way out. Of course, I always sleep on the Oldies’ bed, right in between them so that when I stretch out, the female oldie falls out of bed – good fun. I love eating cat food and at human dinner time I sit near each individual in turn, looking very cute, and very skinny – usually results are only moderate, but again, I keep trying. I like to play with a ball, especially in the middle of the night when I sometimes have to stand on an Oldie and pretend I need a pee – it usually works!

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